April 18, 2009


On Tuesday we went to Prescott so Josh could take his Paramedic test (which he passed, of course!). We grabbed some lunch at McDonald's after some pathetic begging from Zackary. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich meal. Not the meat and toppings only that I would have ordered even last week. The whole sandwich, with a bun.

I opened my order and had some fries. I took a bite of the meat laying between the slices of bread. I set the sandwich down and ate more fries. We were sitting in our car eating, and Josh kept looking over at me chuckling because I wasn't eating the bread.

I was nervous. I was scared. Isn't that ridiculous . . . I was scared of food! I was so worried about the "What if I eat this bread and . . . " I finally realized how ridiculous I was being and decided to dive in, slowly. I took a bite of the sandwich. Before I was even done chewing my eyes filled with tears. I put the sandwich back down and had more fries. Was I really starting to cry over food? Does food really have that much of an emotional impact on me? Apparently it does. I was incredibly grateful that we were eating in our car and not in the restaurant.

A few minutes passed, I managed to calm myself down. I picked my sandwich back up and started eating it again. It was delicious. I had eaten half of my medium fries, and was only able to eat half my sandwich before I was . . . Full! I have seldom eaten out these past 8 years and felt full when I was done. Let's face it, a small chicken patty with minimal toppings isn't a lot of food. I would usually eat and still be hungry, or hungry again 30 minutes later. But this time, this time I was full. Josh finished my food for me.

And the best part was that there was no pain afterwords. I had eaten bread and I didn't get any negative side effects from it! I'm not sure if many of you can relate to being able to eat foods you haven't eaten for 8 years - it's, it's, it's - refreshing!

So this past week I have also had a cheese-crisp (on a flour tortilla), sugar cookies that Josh's mom made for the boys, celebratory cookies my boss made for me, bean burritos on flour tortillas, and sloppy joes on a bun-instead of just the meat on the side. It all tastes sooooooo good.

I know I still need to see my doctor and find out what my real health issue is, but in the mean time - this is incredible. Now I just need to watch how much food I am eating that has gluten in it. Like Josh's parents said last night, I'll probably gain 130 pounds from eating these previously avoided foods. Let's hope not. But just in case, I think I'll go workout before I go to bed and call it a night. And maybe I'll have a piece of buttered toast before I brush my teeth. It smells so yummy when I make it for the boys!

4 comments from people we love:

Meredith said...

I can't say that I've ever cried over food, other than feeling really guilty for eating something that would make my butt bigger!

I doubt you'll gain 130 pounds, because you're a skinny Minnie, but have fun with your new-found freedom!


Hey girl! Wow...this is all so familiar to me...but...WARNING!!!
I was tested (-) 2x w the blood tests as well, I was freakin' out...well I decided to call around and find a Dr. who was familiar w Celiac and had more than 5yrs of experience w it...I found one here in Provo...he wanted to start all over w me and I had an Endoscope done on my small intestine, the Golden Test for Celiac...it came back (-) also...BUT he said it was very obvious that my intestines had been damaged badly b4 and were on their way to healin' since I had been finally watchin my diet he said "don't u dare eat gluten!" But you know that when I was 2yrs old I had the endoscope then and it was (+) since I wasn't on a GF diet...I really hope this doesn't hurt you...If it's really true for you, I am so happy for you then. Just be careful. I've been there.

Mechelle said...

Scared of food. I so understand this one. But you are so skinny. So cute. SO SWEET and completely beautiful inside and out.

I say eat the bread! GOOD FOR YOU! M

Cherise Davies said...

Oh goodness! :) You are so cute! heheh. This made me giggle extra because I just read my friends blog who is 7 months preg and she just blogged about how she craves certain foods and her husband always magically has them on hand when he gets home and how she gets teary eyed every time. hehe
Well I'm so glad that you can eat and get full now without feeling like crap after! How exciting!!